By Sara Karnish
Feedback is part of being a writer. Critique partners, editors, first readers, the general book-buying public—everyone will have something to say about the words you have lovingly, painstakingly constructed.
And yes, sometimes it can be harsh.
But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Let’s say you take your finished (or almost finished) manuscript to a critique group or ask a few trusted First Readers to read through your pages and offer their feedback. When the moment of truth arrives and they do offer that feedback, are you prepared to accept it?
In a previous post, I talked about ways to offer a critique that is not overly critical. Now, let’s talk about the experience of being on the other side of the equation. It’s never easy to hear negative commentary on your work, but as we already said, it’s part of being a writer. When putting your work under the microscope for others to read and critique, remember these tips to accept feedback graciously:
- Hear the person out. Let each reader give their feedback without interrupting or protesting their comments. Your words stirred a certain response in them—allow them to share it with you. As the saying goes, everyone is entitled to their opinion. Rather than interject with “That’s not what I meant to say!” or “The mother character is central to the plot—I can’t cut her out,” let the reader/critique member give their full commentary on the work.
- Ask questions. The reader may not always be clear or specific with their feedback. You might hear comments like “I just didn’t like the protagonist,” or “I didn’t find the love scene believable.” Let them share their thoughts, but ask questions. What did they dislike about the protagonist? Were there elements of the character they found likable (so you know what’s already working)? Clear and specific feedback is best, but when it’s vague, it might fall to you as the author to get more detail from your readers.
- Take notes. Jot down your critique partners’ comments for your own reference. Sometimes it’s best to write down the comments you receive and take the time to process them later. It’s hard to be “in the moment” and act on every suggestion, so take the feedback now and review it in a day or so.
- Say “thank you.” Recognize both the feedback you’ve received and the person giving it with a simple “thank you,” even if you disagree with what you’ve heard.
- Don’t take it personally. So easy to say, but so hard to do! Writing is such a personal activity, it’s easy to take every comment to heart. Remember—your critique partners are only trying to help, and want what’s best to move your story forward and make your book the best it can be. Also, keep in mind that their suggestions are just that—suggestions. Ultimately, it’s your book and you can keep, cut, or revise any part of your manuscript.
What are other suggestions for accepting feedback graciously?